I hope that one day I stop crying.

Specifically about the state of the world.

Videos with graphics entailing human brutality, children dying from severe acute malnutrition, the rape in both developed and developing countries, the violence against people based on race caste creed religion--I can keep going for days.

I don't understand people in the world.

I don't understand the inherent evil.

I don't understand the chronic state of hate.

The only thing that stops my rabid emotions is action. When I get my hands dirty, work my butt off, and turn emotions on due to overwork instead of helplessness.... That's it.

People wonder why I work so hard. People question the "work ethic." People question my motives. It's to keep my mind at ease. It's to make me feel better about myself. That's pretty much it--I'm a workaholic to get rid of SOME of that helpless feeling.

I'm currently filling my mind with thought, opinions, and plans for the world. When I finish, I hope to see how it all works out. I hope to dive in and get the ball of my workaholic nature rolling. Soon soon soon. I guess I just need to be patient and breathe.